I’ve been blessed with the title of Mom for thirty years. I’ve mothered poorly in many areas and for many years, but now and then, I would look brilliant—for a moment. I like to think those moments outweighed the not-so-stellar ones. Like the time I left my son behind at a Boy Scout meeting, and another parent brought him to the church where I was helping with the children’s choir. This really happened, and my son reminds me frequently. (For the record, I thought my husband took him home.)

How anyone makes it through this parenting phase with no instructions is a God-thing. The nurse hands you this tiny, fragile human being with no step-by-step directions, and suddenly, you are responsible for them for the next 20+ years. It’s both exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. They age up just when you think you have it figured out, and you slide down the learning curve.

Whenever Mother’s Day comes around, my mind flashes back like an old VHS tape, and I see my adult kids as children. I remember the diapers changed, meals cooked, parties thrown, clothes laundered, miles chauffeured, pennies pinched, tears cried, and laughs shared. I wonder, where did the time go? How did I ever survive those early years?

As another Mother’s Day approaches, I thought I’d share a few things I wish I’d done differently and a few things I did right.

Things I’d wish I had done differently:

• Discerned what age-appropriate behavior is versus actual rebellion.
• Prayed more and worried less.
• Taught less and lived my faith more.
• Asked more questions to help my children think through their problems before I offered advice.
• Spent more time and money on experiences than on things taken to Goodwill in a year.
• Parented out of God’s grace rather than my hurt, dealing with problems instead of thinking they would go away.
• Surrendered my children to God earlier.
• Extended more grace than criticism.
• Enjoyed each stage of their childhood rather than wishing for the next phase to come quicker
• Stopped putting so much emphasis on my children’s intellectual and physical well-being but cared equally about the whole child (emotional and spiritual well-being).
• Stepped up my culinary skills, serving dishes more inspiring than cereal in the morning, turkey sandwiches for lunch, and Ragu and spaghetti for dinner. (I can hear three amens to this one.)
• Not compared myself to other moms and wallowed in my inadequacy.

Things I’m glad I did:

• Stayed home and played mom for many years. Even when money was tight or I was seen in public with spit-up down the front of my top, the sacrifices were worth it.
• Joined a Moms in Prayer group. I’m beyond grateful for the women who prayed for my kids. Corporate prayer taught me to trust God with my children even when my parenting skills were lacking or the situation spun out of my control.
• Studied the Bible. The Joy of the Lord, Living Proof, Going Beyond, and Bible Study Fellowship are ministries that fed me spiritually. I’ve feasted at the banquet tables of gifted female Bible teachers for many years. I believe I’m a better mom because of these studies and teachers.
• Parented with my spouse of twenty-seven years. (Bless all you single parents!)
• Told my kids I love you and hugged them.

Happy Mother’s Day! Know that this mommy vocation is still a worthy one.